It’s not “over the river and through the woods to grandmother’s house”, anymore. Your new and growing family lives a thousand miles away from your childhood home, so a visit to your children’s grandparents is a long trek that a horse-drawn sleigh won’t cover. Still, your parents live for the visit at Christmastime that you promised you’d make.

And that means a plane flight-the bane of all young parents. Traveling with children has never been easy, but with all of the airline restrictions and security measures in place today, flying with kids is more difficult and stressful than ever. And it’s not just your kids and their comfort and safety that you worry about-you remember what it was like, when you were single, to sit in front of a crying child, so you worry about the other passengers and what they’ll think if your own kids are tired and cranky, on-board.

Forget about that. All of us-even the passengers in front of you-were kids, once, too, and annoyed someone. If you worry about everyone else’s comfort, you’ll only make the trip a nightmare for yourself. Your kids may have a few moments of discomfort or boredom, and act out-so what? Most passengers, especially other parents, are understanding, particularly if they know that you’re doing your best to alleviate the causes of your kids’ discomfort.

Though carry-on restrictions are more stringent than ever, and change constantly, plan on bringing a favorite game or a toy along, on your flight. If your kids are old enough, a small DVD player (with headphones!) can be a great way to keep them occupied. And if it’s a long trip with an in-flight movie, they may not be able to see the screen, or the material may not be what you’d like them to watch. CD players or iPods are smaller and can be just as good at keeping your kids distracted. Juice boxes are not allowed as carry-on items, unless they’re purchased at the airport after the security checkpoint, so you might want to pack some dry juice mix, to be combined with the airline’s bottled water, onboard. Be sure to use bottled water-airline tap water is suspect, for drinking purposes.

Some parents find it easier, when taking a long trip, to book flights with layovers. Kids can have a chance to get some exercise, use the airport’s bathroom, and see some different and distracting sights. After a layover, children are much more apt to relax and fall asleep, when re-boarding their flight.

One way to make the trip more comfortable, if you can afford it, is to purchase separate seats for your kids. In the long-run, both you and they will have a much more relaxing trip, than if you wind up holding them on your lap the whole way-a practice which is allowed, but discouraged by most airlines.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help from flight attendants. That’s why they’re there. If you need a bottle warmed or someone to hold your child while you use the restroom, they’re usually glad to help.

The main thing you can do to make your kids comfortable, especially if this is their first airline experience, is to remain calm, yourself, about the trip. Parents who are nervous travelers can transmit their fear to their kids, making the trip unpleasant for all.

Contact your airline, well ahead of time, to check on the current travel restrictions. It won’t be an effortless trip, but the sooner you start traveling with your kids, the easier future trips “over the river and through the woods” will be.